At the end of last week’s post, I said I would talk about decluttering next time. Well, it’s next time, and guess what?

I don’t want to talk about it.

But, as I’m learning in my non-design life (and coaching practice), it’s often the things we least want to talk about that probably could use the most attention…so here goes.

Overall, I would characterize myself as a reasonably tidy person. I have a daily ritual that before I can leave the house, I have to make sure things are “just so.” The bed is made, couch pillows are fluffed, sink is dish-free, and generally the place looks as it should. I like coming home to a tidy house.

But I also have clutter.

I have a load of  laundry that’s been sitting in my dryer for months. I won’t even get into the complex ritual I have devised to work around this “lost load.” It’s slightly mental.

I have two laundry baskets in my master bedroom (always artfully out of frame when I take BEFORE and AFTER pics). They are also full of clean clothes. Sometimes I’ll go through them in search of an errant blouse or out-of-rotation skirt, but there they sit. Judging me. Waiting for me to act.

And then there’s my junk drawer. We all have one, so let’s not pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. Our parents had one. My grandparents had one. I’m pretty sure in a dank cave in Lascaux, they found a junk drawer.

The question as to what keeps me from addressing the clutter is multifaceted and deep. I tell myself “Yeah, well MOST of the house looks great most of the time.” Or “I’ll go through that basket of laundry SOON.” Great parrying and avoidance there, Steph…but let’s get to the real deal. The root of the root, per e.e. Cummings.

I’m an 80%-er. Eighty percent of the time, I’m on point. Doing the “right” things. Eighty percent of my house is clean and tidy. I’ll never be on an episode of “Hoarders” and yet I FEEL like my junk drawer and laundry baskets are screaming out “LOOK AT THE SLOB!!”

Let me pause…I just noticed that in this moment, I’m holding my breath.

In spite of the 80%, I’m ashamed of this clutter. In this moment, I’m letting this stupid 20% rule my mood and bring me down. I’m letting a laundry basket make me its bitch.

So DO something about it, you might be saying…

It’s not about getting out of bed and spending two hours “taking care of business” and putting everything neatly in its place. Because guess what? There’s more clutter where that came from.

So what IS it about?

For me (and I’m only living in my experience), it’s partly about decluttering, but it’s mostly about reframing. About looking at the clutter and not automatically jumping to some self-limiting belief that I AM my clutter. That only tidying up eighty percent of the way means I’m only eighty percent worthy, or eighty percent “good.” That’s a self-limiting belief I’d like to put out on the curb for pick-up right now.

So maybe I need to develop a different relationship to this bit of clutter in my life. What if I were compassionate and said to the clutter “It’s okay to just be.” What if I slowly approached it and started exploring? What might I find?

Sometimes I’ll start going through the baskets and come across something my ex hastily left behind. It’s a bittersweet archeological project, which sometimes makes me stop digging. And that’s okay. The baskets are waiting for me when I’m ready, and my eighty percent track record means they won’t stay there forever. Those are far better odds than winning the Powerball. I can do this!

If you thought you were getting decluttering tips this week, I’m sorry to disappoint. But let me leave you with a couple that I’ve used with some success…

The 10-Minute Rule: This came from Real Simple magazine…If you have 10 minutes to spare, you actually can move mini mountains. Use that time to dust, empty/fill the dishwasher, wipe down counters, take out some recycling. Look around and find a little something that needs attention, and tackle it. Instant mood boost!

27/9: My awesome coach Ellen taught me this one, so all credit goes to her. For nine consecutive days, find 27 things to get rid of. They could be pieces of paper, articles of clothing, you name it. As you gather these items for donation or disposal, say, “I am getting rid of these 27 things, and letting go of BLANK to make space for BLANK in my life.” I was dubious at first, but it was a powerful and empowering ritual that I now repeat periodically.

Okay, that’s all for this week. Have fun finding the fun in your home, make friends with your junk drawer and go have an amazing Sunday!